On our way to the Vickers residence for Christmas day fun times, we had to stop at Northridge hospital to visit lola. For some reason the day prior she had to be brought in.
She's 90 something i believe and she had already experienced a stroke(s) several years ago. As much as i hate to say such things are natural in the course of late age, it was still pretty despairing to see her condition.
But i think what was more melancholic about this visit was the interaction between my auntie cory and my dad. Since my lola moved out of her own apartment in Hollywood while i was in college, tita cory took it upon herself to house and look after my lola. A tremendous task for sure.
anyway, it briefly went like this... my tita asks my dad if he could stay at the hospital with lola to accompany her during the day, since he is retired already, he really has nothing else on his plate o' obligations. (well, get that garage door fixed already will ya! hahah) instead of just saying, "ok" he insists on being timid on doing such a thing, making lil excuses like he won't be able to attend to her needs since she can't really talk, worried and all, why can't you (tita cory) stay with me too, blah blah.... so he played the futile card. but tita cory kept insisting back that you don't have to worry about that stuff; there are nurses for crying out loud that you can beckon! this conversation kept going intermittently for 30 mins or so, that eventually my tita broke down in tears in awe and despair towards my dad's lack of initiative for their mom. as my sister, cousin, and mom walked out of the room, i remained inside the room with my niece. (but i was the only observer of all this as hannah was on her ipod the whole time.) when i saw my aunt let her tears go trying to shed light for my dad i was about to cry as well. "tony, this is your mom... even though i know she favored you more and at times could care less about me, i know that she is still my mother... unconditional love... even though this is inevitable (death), it still hurts to see her like this.... i can't force you to do this.. fine, so be it... i don't need you.... etc etc..." i knew what she was pleading, i knew what my dad was feeling, and most of all as the "third guy" in the room I understood the spark that was misfiring in the synapse between their two brains. sorry daddy o, but i'm going to have to say the misconnection was primarily bc of you. first of all, i understand what's going on in my dad's head. i know how he is. it's not that he doesnt love his mom. God bless him. but the grit of the matter is that it is my grandma's final moments. do what you gotta do.
jane and i had food in the car so we left before my parents did to marissa's. i left with a very pensive, and of course.. of course, more life experience, more perspective.
my mom gets to marissa's house about an hour later than us, but no dad. "where's dad?"
"oh, he decided to stay at the hospital."
on a lighter note, the blue phone was novel.
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